You get married. You can't have children for whatever reason, so you and your spouse decide to adopt. Three times over :) You get to watch your kids grow up, you nurture them, you make sure they get the things you didn't have. You watch them grow up, and build families of their own.
Your and your spouse grow old together. Argue over the TV remote. Get mad and yell at each other, then cry to each other to make up, and promise to never do so again. You buy a house together, stress over mortgage payments, bills, and all the other stresses of making a house a home. You both struggle together to make the most out of the life you were given. And, you do it together. And you both make it.
Well, after spending 30, 40, or 50 years together, a grunt over morning coffee says the same thing that you used to have to spend 20 minutes talking about says. A nod, or a look expresses more in moment than a newlywed couple can say in 5 minutes. You never really need to finish a sentence in order for your spouse to know what you are thinking, and you can read your spouse the same. You don't need to ask how the day went anymore. You already know from the look on their face. And, your spouse can do the same.
A "Friday Night" is now lovingly spent at home, watching TV together, sitting on the couch holding hands. Or, sitting on the patio, sharing a glass of wine. Or, taking a walk through the park.
Now, when the inevitable comes, one of you are in the hospital. On their death bed. One of you are holding the other's hand; caressing it, encouraging the other to be strong, or to let go. To not be afraid.
Then, the burial, mourning for days, weeks, months, or years. But, every minute is worth it, because you spent your life with the person you loved.
Now, let's imagine some hitches along that road. You lose your job, fall behind on bills, and need to file bankruptcy. Except, you are getting yanked around because you aren't "Really married". So, one of you are deemed by the court to be able to handle all of this. Joint property? Yeah right. You lose it all, because you "Weren't really married."
Let's imagine another hitch. At that death bed, you arrive at the hospital to see your spouse, and the hospital says,"No, you can not see your spouse. They are in the ICU, and only immediate family is allowed." What? You are immediate family. The hospital says,"No you aren't. You are not their spouse."
Both of these cases happen daily. Because we do not recognize two people who love each other as being "Married." They both love each other, and have lived with each other for years. Shared each other's pain, their joy, their sadness. Raised kids, seen them off to college, watched them build their own family. But, they are not "married." And, I get sad every time I see it. At the WNY Pride festival, I saw not less than 50 couples, who are unable to enjoy all the benefits of marriage.
In the words of Mildred Loving, who was arrested for being married to the man she loved:
Surrounded as I am now by wonderful children and grandchildren, not a day goes by that I don't think of Richard and our love, our right to marry, and how much it meant to me to have that freedom to marry the person precious to me, even if others thought he was the "wrong kind of person" for me to marry. I believe all Americans, no matter their race, no matter their sex, no matter their sexual orientation, should have that same freedom to marry. Government has no business imposing some people's religious beliefs over others. Especially if it denies people's civil rights.
I am still not a political person, but I am proud that Richard's and my name is on a court case that can help reinforce the love, the commitment, the fairness, and the family that so many people, black or white, young or old, gay or straight seek in life. I support the freedom to marry for all. That's what Loving, and loving, are all about.
And, to cite the resounding words passed down by the Supreme Court of the United States, in the landmark case of Loving v. Virginia:
Marriage is one of the "basic civil rights of man," fundamental to our very existence and survival.... To deny this fundamental freedom on so unsupportable a basis as the racial classifications embodied in these statutes, classifications so directly subversive of the principle of equality at the heart of the Fourteenth Amendment, is surely to deprive all the State's citizens of liberty without due process of law. The Fourteenth Amendment requires that the freedom of choice to marry not be restricted by invidious racial discrimination. Under our Constitution, the freedom to marry, or not marry, a person of another race resides with the individual and cannot be infringed by the State.
So, why are we refusing basic civil rights to a group of people here in the United States? We need to get the ear of our politicians who say they are representing the people!
In NYS, Mark Grisanti could be the turning vote on this issue, come Friday. Let's get out, and let him know we support basic civil rights for all! Mark Grisanti's contact information is below:
Buffalo: 716-854-8705
Grand Island: 716-773-9600 ext 654
Email: grisanti@nysenate.gov
NF.Grisanti@gmail.com
Tonawanda.Grisanti@gmail.com
buffalo.grisanti@gmail.com
Let's blow up every email address, and all his phone numbers!
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